Sunday, December 2, 2012

Insane Pilot, Flood, and More

I was back in The Ivy apartments, but I was also home. It was also Dubuque, and we lived downtown. It was Dubuque from my dreams, not real-life Dubuque, which means there were really tall buildings downtown and there were even more hills than there already are. And the river was so much bigger and deeper and violent. Anyway. A pilot was flying this massive plane with propellers. He was flying out of control. We had no idea where he would go next. His propellers were giant, and would slash through cars and buildings. People were dying. It was a terrorist attack, basically. He flew around the city and pummeled himself towards crowds of people, destroying them. We kept running toward far ends of the building every time we saw him coming close. He ended up destroying part of our apartment, as we all crammed against the far wall. Many employees at the apartment died right there. After several more minutes of slicing through other planes that were parked, other buildings, and making swoops and threatening blows at traffic and people, he finally nose dived and his treacherous flight attack was over as his plane exploded, shaking the earth and causing mudslides and rock avalanches to being pouring down the massive hillsides. We were also near the Hoover Dam like we are here in Nevada. The dam broke, and the whole town flooded. My family was lucky and we managed to hop inside a lifeboat that we had and ride the slick ground down like a water slide, and then momentum shot us upward to the top of a hill, where many other refugees were waiting out the flood. On top of there was Tyler's family. The flood seceded eventually and we began making our way back around the town to our homes, observing the terrible damage that resulted from this violent flood.
I was back in a church building, but I was terrified of being there because of past experiences as a child. (These experiences were all dream-made, not real at all). Apparently I had been in a teaching class, preparing to be a teacher as a child, and I was abused by the lady running the program. I was beat, screamed at, clothes yanked off me and beat some more. It had been humiliating and terrifying. I was now back here, and the building was still flooded. I had to teach groups of children, and they were rotten kids. I don't remember what they were doing, but they verbally abused me as well, and the lady was back, watching me, and I couldn't leave.
Then she was gone and I was telling this information with my mom, who was appalled. I then had to lead groups of children to the restroom. There was a line, and most of the sinks and toilets were not working because of the flood and the terrorist attack earlier.
I finally was able to enter a restroom, and it looked like the frozen custard parlor I went to last night with Alexx and Eric.

Then I was back home, in the Dubuque-like area. and I was helping Tyler's family get back to their home. Then I was with an old friend, but now that I am awake, I cannot recall who it was. We waited as Oliver (who was a bit older) and another child dragged on behind us, and almost got in trouble by bursting a massive pocket of water stuck in a plastic container (similar to the material used on our pool beds), that would have killed them if they were not careful, or taken out any car driving by at that time. We heard a massive bang and screams and thought it was them, but it wasn't. We never found out what it was, and figured it had to be something like an explosion, or something massive falling down on a crowd because of the damage caused by the insane pilot.

Then I got married. (The dream did not specify who.) It was in the temple, but I still had not received my endowments, so I was very worried that the marriage was not true. I felt so very happy beyond belief that I was married to the love of my life, and we both continued to embrace, but the worry about my endowments was sticking out like a sore thumb.

Then we continued to clean up. The marriage part of the dream was over. I went back to the apartment complex and we went to go observe the damage. We had to live back there, and I was terrified. I couldn't be in the living room without still seeing the plane come through and destroy everything outside. I kept having flashbacks and couldn't stop shaking with fear.

Then I continued to help clean up homes. There was cheap linoleum flooring in our kitchen that had been destroyed from the flood. It was a mess.

Then I was a character in a story. I think it was Hey Arnold, but the story was much more deep, important, and serious than the silly cartoon really is. There was a baker who had run out of his key ingredient because of the flood, and we had to help him. I knew how the story would end in my head, but still had to live it out. It wasn't very interesting, so I don't remember most of it.
Then my cousin Shelley and her family came (as they really are doing tonight in real life), and we sat them down for dinner. The baker was still remorseful for the sake that his pancake-type pastry was not as good as it should be. He had done something different to make up for the lost ingredients, and it turned out to be better than the original. Happy ending for that part of the dream.

Then I had to run back to school with my brother, who was some kind of character from something that I cannot remember. I was very sick and cold and was not dressed to be seen in public, so I stayed in the car, and hoped and prayed nobody would see me. Then I had to drive this car down hill, but it wouldn't drive like a normal car. I had to direct the car verbally, as if it was being driven by a young, first-time driver. We made it home safely, and I helped fix up bunk beds that had been damaged by the flood.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Plane Crash

There was an attack planned on a German airplane carrying German citizens. They were flying over the United States. It was a foreign country who attacked, though. I don't know what country. They had reason to attack. It wasn't just to cause terror, but the Germans had recently done something to that country and the country was resentful. Attacking a plane was unfair revenge, though. It happened here in Las Vegas. People had heard rumors and we thought it was going to be averted, but everybody was still waiting. The airport here is in the center of the town, so there are always planes flying somewhat low over your home. I saw the attack happen. The plane was heading north like they always do over our house. A fighter plane or something came out of nowhere and dropped a bomb on the plane. There was an explosion, and the plane started falling and turned as it was falling. The plane was hurdling to the ground, heading towards our house. It looked like our house would be its final stopping place. Grace, Oliver, Hoover and I were the only ones home. I started screaming "Run!! It's coming!", ran out of my room, grabbed Hoover and we all ran to the garage to escape. I remember trying to prepare Oliver and Grace for the loud sound that would happen and shouting "Cover your ears!". There was a bone chilling crashing/crunching sound, the ground shook, the power went out and we were frozen in our tracks. Some time passed, and neighbors were standing around, horror struck. I got up the courage to run into the house to see the damage. The plane didn't hit our house though. It landed in our back yard (which was MUCH bigger in the dream). It was terrifying. It was all smoking rubble, some fire fighters, and scattered bodies. Not every body was found, though. Many had been destroyed when the bomb hit.
They had to be buried in our yard (which was mostly desert). Their graves weren't very deep, so there were mounds of dirt everywhere. It was terrible.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Screams and Murder

I have had this dream before, and I hate it. I had it before I read The Hunger Games.
For some reason or another, I was back in high school, but also at BYU-I. Every few years, the school had a ritual of having these teams of 4 take the "stage" and fight for the death. There was always at least one senior, and then the rest were randomly selected. So sometimes, barely 14-year-old kids would be fighting nearly 19-year-old people. Often, the people only knew each other by passing one another in the halls. Familiar faces, but nothing else. Other times, the competitors were best friends. Or even siblings.
It was all viewed from my high school's auditorium, which is very old and pretty dark. I kept trying to hide from teachers and professors who would grab me and take me to the auditorium to wait for my turn. There were some people who were helpful and supportive of me trying to escape, and others who clearly did not approve of my motives.
Many people I knew died, and many survived, but they were forever changed. It was terrible.
I barely swept by unnoticed by those who mattered and would force me to go on.
When it was over, I went on a huge rant in front of a large classroom with tons of students and teachers and community members, asking them why they allow this to happen, and how disgusting it is. I was screaming, completely exhausting myself through the emotion and physical exertion of screaming. I was screaming at them to put an end to it, to be humane. I felt incredibly alone.

The dream was absolutely miserable. I hate that dream.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Pink Alcohol

It has been a while since I have had an odd dream!
Last night's dream was terrible!

All of my siblings were home, including Molly and Kevin. We were in our house from Lubbock. She showed us this new television show that was just awful!! It was a very promiscuous game show that apparently was all the rage. Suddenly I had to be a contestant on the show, and I was frozen (not literally... I just couldn't move), so people kept grabbing me and doing..stuff.. to me and everybody was enjoying it except me. I finally got out of there and was suddenly with Nick. We were with a cousin of mine, talking with him, and he was being ridiculous. Then we were at this large arcade place, but there were a ton of water slides and things like that! I went on them with my cousin, but he ditched me eventually. Then I went on it with Nick. We went back to the gift shop after that and was so thirsty, so I grabbed a drink that looked good. It was pink. (just a few days ago I was at a surprise party and there was pink vitamin water.. the drink in the dream looked just like it.) Apparently it was an alcoholic drink and the cashier didn't stop me from buying it. I drank it and felt fine. My parents somehow found out I drank this. They had seen me on the show, and they called me into a room by myself - the way they always do when I'm in trouble. They asked me the weirdest question - why my pee was pink. At this point, I already knew I had bought and drank alcohol, even though I did not feel drunk or anything... anyway. They thought I was going off the deep end. They wanted to keep me from seeing Nick. They thought he was the influence on having me buy the drink, and they thought he would act on me the same way the people on the show acted on me. This was complete bogus. I had to explain that the drink was an accident, even though I knew logically that would be hard to believe. They showed me my sister Sally, and explained that because of my actions, she was now an alcoholic. I was to blame. They treated her with love and cared for her and were very gentle to her in trying to help her, but with me they were going to give me hell.

Later I was with Nick, and he kept kissing me in ways I didn't like. Ways my ex used to try to do.

It was pretty unlike my parents and Nick.

The dream was just terrible and I am so glad it was just a dream.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Dog Dish

My baby, Tango, is getting old. My family is moving, but Tango is not. She is going to stay with my sister and brother-in-law. She is very happy to not have to share her toys anymore! However, in my dream last night, Tango got pretty sick. My family could not afford to get her the medication she needed to make her better. And her sickness was not even that bad. But because she was old, the family decided to put her down. Instead of just taking her to the vet or humane society, there was this charity of sorts that would take your pets and kill them for you for free. They would then take the animal and feed the meat to hungry homeless people. I was so upset that my baby was going to be eaten! They wanted her, too. Everybody in my family had just accepted it, but I refused to let it happen. I kept holding on to her, but they (the people at the charity) kept taking her away. I didn't understand how my family could just be okay with this. Nick was with me, and he was supporting me, but at the same time, he didn't know what to do, either. They ended up taking her and I just sat there crying. The poor girl. She didn't know what was going on, and just looked over at me while they carried her away with her ears perked up.

My sweet little baby Tango brat.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Feel Free to Laugh at My Dreams

Honestly, please feel free to find these humorous.

I had yet another pregnant dream. I have no idea why I get these dreams. They freak me out so much.

So I was pregnant, and yet again, there was no reason why I should be. And nobody really believed me when I said I didn't do anything and I have no idea why I was pregnant. I had yet to tell Nick, because I was afraid he wouldn't believe me either. All I know is that there was a point a while back where I had fallen into a deep sleep or something, and I wondered if somebody attacked me then while I was sleeping. But I had no idea.
Anyway. So I had a number of things running across my mind. I was very upset that this had happened, because I wanted to be married before I had a kid. I was thinking I either had to get married before the kid was born, or have the kid and wait a while so I can fit into the wedding dress I wanted. But neither of these made me happy, purely for selfish reasons. 1) I didn't want to be pregnant in my wedding pictures, because that looks bad and 2) I didn't want to have a little girl (idk how I knew it was a girl, but it was) in my wedding pictures either, because that looks bad for me. I was frustrated.
But then, through new technology, I was able to see the baby. She was tiny, and had very light blonde hair that was just barely starting to come in. She stole my heart, and I just couldn't believe it. And then I was scared, because I could see that the umbilical chord was wrapped around her neck several times. And at the same time, I was still frustrated that I was pregnant with no answer as to why.

Somebody thought I was trying to be the next virgin Mary, and that made people believe me even less.
I had no idea what to do!
Needless to say, I was very relieved when I woke up. I even felt my stomach to make sure there was nothing in there!! Ha!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Life Changing Accidents

It started as we were driving back from some kind of church activity. Sister "Smith" was driving Sally and me. She was going way too fast along these sharp curves along the edge of a mountain. We were in a desert. Everything was brown, and it was hot and very sunny. I realized later that Sister Smith was somewhat drunk. That, or she had really lost her mind and was being threateningly suicidal/homicidal. Not because she didn't like me or Sally, but because she was trying to prove some kind of point to everybody at church. On one of the curves, the car couldn't make the turn, and we were driving off the edge of the cliff. We were in the air, falling. Everybody was screaming, and Sally and I were holding hands (I was in the passenger seat, she was in the middle back seat), both saying prayers out loud to God, telling Him we have our fullest faith, and asking in this moment of emergency if he could spare us. We still have work to do in this life, we still have duties to fulfill. I was thinking about Nick. I was thinking about how I still love him, and I felt my want to continue my life with him. Then, the car started to slow down in its fall and landed back on a lower road. We all cheered out of relief that we were unharmed and sang and shout praises to the Lord. We started going again, and Sister Smith continued to drive like a maniac. Suddenly another car came out of nowhere and there was an awful accident. I was the worst injured. I hit my head really hard, and the car had smashed through my door and parts of its engine had jammed against my body. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital. Dr. House's team was watching over me, and apparently I had been a part of the team. I could hardly move. I could not see well, my vision was badly damaged. Parts of what I was seeing were just completely gone, and everything else was extraordinarily blurry. My depth perception was thrown, and I could not discern colors very well. I had trouble staying awake, and I was breathing with the help of a machine, because I could not breathe on my own. Even once I was off of the machine, speaking was difficult with the combined head injury and breathing problems, but I learned how to do some of it. I spoke very slowly and my voice was low and a little rough. I found that when I would sit up/stand up, my legs were so damaged and my back so injured that I could not remain upright. Moving my legs was difficult, they felt very heavy. I had to do a lot of physical therapy in order to be able to get some normal movement in.
Something had happened later that put all of House's team out of work. I had been deemed incurable/fixable, and was a bit of bad luck or something to them, so they got rid of me. I went to a burger king on my own later, barely being able to walk or see, but I knew that one of the team members, Taub worked there. He saw me in line and saw I was having trouble getting around, got my order, and then I slowly started to tell him something about how he shouldn't give up his career, and something about 13 and other team members needing his help, even though House wasn't in charge. He said it would not be as good of a team without me there, but I told him I was of no more use, and that it's what he needed to do. I had things on my own that I needed to do, which is why the Lord had spared me in the awful car wrecks.
Later, I was home. I was kind of useless, just stuck on the couch, unable to do much else. I wanted to drive again, get around, go to church and go see Nick, but my parents said I couldn't because my physical movement was so slow and my vision was so bad. Even though I had gotten glasses that helped tremendously (though there were still some blind spots), I wasn't allowed to drive.
There were some people who were mad at me, and I did not know why. One guy, we'll call him John, was upset because he thought I was long gone. He didn't understand that my brain was still functioning and I was still there. I was just handicapped. He also was somewhat jealous that I was not in love with him and that I was in love with Nick. He had been a very good friend to me though, and in real life, I once liked him a lot, but got over it. He never responded, but now suddenly he really liked me. Through this trial, he had been helping (though I don't remember how), and I gave him a parting kiss to say "thank you". It was awkward, but I really wanted to thank him. I then moved on, in search of Nick. For a while I was back in Rexburg, waiting to be able to see Nick again - kind of how I am now in real life. There were some people helping me to recover, and helping me to try and have fun. We were on a beach, and some girls thought I would look really cute in a few other swim suits, so they led me to a locker room and had me change. My former roommate was in there, and she kept staring at me, because I looked different from the accident. I just ignored it though, and tried on the suits. Back on the beach, somebody openly asked me ", pardon my asking, but what exactly is wrong with you?" and I laughed, because not only was I having to deal with the accident, but my crohn's disease was acting up as well. I explained, and people were very understanding. Then suddenly I was in Utah. My cousin Shelley had a baby girl with a number of complications. This was one of the twins, a few years ago when they were born. It was almost like there had been some kind of apocalypse, and the hospitals were deserted. So she ended up sticking the tiny baby in this little rectangular "L" shaped hole in the ground, keeping her covered in mud that was treated with something that would be absorbed into the baby's skin to encourage her organs to continue growing so that she would not die. We watched her progress, and eventually we got to take her out. Everybody had to be at different places though, because the world around us was being destroyed, and I had to breastfeed the child. I was not sure why I was lactating, but then I remembered I had been pregnant, but miscarried, and my body was still somewhat in baby-preparation mode. (No clue how I had gotten pregnant, though I felt regret over it, as if I had slept with someone and had repented of it since, but was still unsure as to how exactly I had gotten pregnant.) I fed the child, and suddenly felt this strong instinct of motherhood that had been laying dormant in my life until this moment. Even though I had this broken body, I felt a sense of wholeness, peace, and accomplishment because of the fact that I was still able to carry out the role that my body is supposed to carry out.
Then suddenly I was finding Nick. He was on his way home from Boston for a quick break from work. He called me, saying there had been an accident. I found him, and he was in a narrow road between two mountain cliffs. A car had fallen off the road above on the mountain and smashed nose-first into the front of his car. He was stuck, but uninjured. His mom had shown up as well, and so had his godmother. It was interesting, all of us being there. Both his mom and godmother had been wanting to meet me, and I was still physically handicapped. Plus we were all in this car in the middle of nowhere, waiting for help. But I was so happy to be back with Nick. He loved me still the same, even with this broken body, and his mom and godmother were gracious and a bit overly-concerned with both him and me, him being stuck in his car and just little things, like how his new job is going and our relationship. With me, she was encouraging of me and my efforts to become stronger and get better, but also kind of babied me. Asked me if I needed anything to eat and somehow had food ready for us and helped me get comfortable to eat. She was very loving.
I don't remember how it ended, but I was so happy to be with Nick. We were together, holding hands, and I just felt this overwhelming calm and happiness of being with him. It was beautiful.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Flying and Fainting

Last night I had yet another flying dream, only this time it was involuntary.

I was on campus and my family was here. I was walking with my soon-to-be 10 year old brother, and we were going to meet up with the rest of the family.

Now, it has been so windy in Rexburg for the last couple of weeks, and this became part of my dream.

I sprinted from one building to another to go grab something. I leaped over the grass median that splits the sidewalks, and the wind carried me away!! I couldn't control it, and my brother was just laughing! I was laughing a little too, but I was a little more worried about being carried away. Eventually I grabbed hold of something and managed to pull myself down and stay down by holding onto whatever it was I had grabbed.

In other dreams lately, I have been fainting. I keep collapsing, fainting, falling down and falling unconscious. I feel so weak and sick and light headed in the dreams. I wake up and I feel the same. I have been working on drinking more water every day, because I really don't like the way I feel most of the time. I fell down today after I got up too quickly. Everybody gets light headed from that, but I actually fell to my knees while walking. Oh well. I just need to take it easy, I guess. Drink more water, make time to eat real food.
That's all!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Murder Truck, a Girl, and Love

Monday night I had quite the dream. I saw it from several different view points. Sometimes, I was the "girl". Other times, I was right behind the "girl". Sometimes I watched it from above, and sometimes the "girl" was my sister Sally.
There was a man who drove a large nasty truck. He was a murderer and liked to kill young girls. Usually with his truck somehow. In this dream, on this day, he had already killed 6 other girls by running them over as they crossed the street. He had a new target, and she was well aware of the six murders, for they had just happened five minutes ago on the street she had to cross. I was then viewing from her eyes. She ran across the street, and as expected, he made a left turn on a red light through a busy intersection to hit this girl. So she ran, stopped, lay down, and he drove over her, but she wasn't hurt, for she let the truck pass over her. He made a wild u-turn and she made a run for the median, which stretched out into a large ditch with a lot of flooded water. He chased after her but had a hard time, because the ditch had a steep V shape to it, and the truck couldn't balance. I watched this from above. She swan into the flood waters, where there were other people. They helped her to safety. The man's truck stopped working in the deep water, and he was captured.
The girl was then my sister, and we had to take her to therapy because of the traumatic incident. It was emotionally draining.

Otherwise, I have just had dreams about going home and being with Nick. We are happily reunited, and I don't have to leave. I get to see my family. And my dogs. Such happy dreams. I hate waking up.