It started as we were driving back from some kind of church
activity. Sister "Smith" was driving Sally and me. She was going way too fast
along these sharp curves along the edge of a mountain. We were in a desert.
Everything was brown, and it was hot and very sunny. I realized later that
Sister Smith was somewhat drunk. That, or she had really lost her mind and was
being threateningly suicidal/homicidal. Not because she didn't like me or
Sally, but because she was trying to prove some kind of point to everybody at
church. On one of the curves, the car couldn't make the turn, and we were
driving off the edge of the cliff. We were in the air, falling. Everybody was
screaming, and Sally and I were holding hands (I was in the passenger seat, she
was in the middle back seat), both saying prayers out loud to God, telling Him
we have our fullest faith, and asking in this moment of emergency if he could
spare us. We still have work to do in this life, we still have duties to
fulfill. I was thinking about Nick. I was thinking about how I still love him, and I felt my want to continue my life with him. Then, the car started to slow
down in its fall and landed back on a lower road. We all cheered out of relief
that we were unharmed and sang and shout praises to the Lord. We started going
again, and Sister Smith continued to drive like a maniac. Suddenly another car
came out of nowhere and there was an awful accident. I was the worst injured. I
hit my head really hard, and the car had smashed through my door and parts of
its engine had jammed against my body. The next thing I knew, I was waking up
in a hospital. Dr. House's team was watching over me, and apparently I had been
a part of the team. I could hardly move. I could not see well, my vision was
badly damaged. Parts of what I was seeing were just completely gone, and
everything else was extraordinarily blurry. My depth perception was thrown, and
I could not discern colors very well. I had trouble staying awake, and I was
breathing with the help of a machine, because I could not breathe on my own. Even
once I was off of the machine, speaking was difficult with the combined head
injury and breathing problems, but I learned how to do some of it. I spoke very slowly and my voice was low and a little rough. I found that
when I would sit up/stand up, my legs were so damaged and my back so injured
that I could not remain upright. Moving my legs was difficult, they felt very
heavy. I had to do a lot of physical therapy in order to be able to get some
normal movement in.
Something had happened later that put all of House's team
out of work. I had been deemed incurable/fixable, and was a bit of bad luck or
something to them, so they got rid of me. I went to a burger king on my own
later, barely being able to walk or see, but I knew that one of the team
members, Taub worked there. He saw me in line and saw I was having trouble
getting around, got my order, and then I slowly started to tell him something
about how he shouldn't give up his career, and something about 13 and other
team members needing his help, even though House wasn't in charge. He said it
would not be as good of a team without me there, but I told him I was of no
more use, and that it's what he needed to do. I had things on my own that I
needed to do, which is why the Lord had spared me in the awful car wrecks.
Later, I was home. I was kind of useless, just stuck on the
couch, unable to do much else. I wanted to drive again, get around, go to
church and go see Nick, but my parents said I couldn't because my physical
movement was so slow and my vision was so bad. Even though I had gotten glasses
that helped tremendously (though there were still some blind spots), I wasn't
allowed to drive.
There were some people who were mad at me, and I did not
know why. One guy, we'll call him John, was upset because he thought I was long
gone. He didn't understand that my brain was still functioning and I was still
there. I was just handicapped. He also was somewhat jealous that I was not in
love with him and that I was in love with Nick. He had been a very good friend
to me though, and in real life, I once liked him a lot, but got over it. He
never responded, but now suddenly he really liked me. Through this trial, he
had been helping (though I don't remember how), and I gave him a parting kiss to say
"thank you". It was awkward, but I really wanted to thank him. I then
moved on, in search of Nick. For a while I was back in Rexburg, waiting to be
able to see Nick again - kind of how I am now in real life. There were some
people helping me to recover, and helping me to try and have fun. We were on a
beach, and some girls thought I would look really cute in a few other swim
suits, so they led me to a locker room and had me change. My former roommate
was in there, and she kept staring at me, because I looked different from the
accident. I just ignored it though, and tried on the suits. Back on the beach,
somebody openly asked me "..so, pardon my asking, but what exactly is
wrong with you?" and I laughed, because not only was I having to deal with
the accident, but my crohn's disease was acting up as well. I explained, and
people were very understanding. Then suddenly I was in Utah. My cousin Shelley
had a baby girl with a number of complications. This was one of the twins, a
few years ago when they were born. It was almost like there had been some kind
of apocalypse, and the hospitals were deserted. So she ended up sticking the
tiny baby in this little rectangular "L" shaped hole in the ground,
keeping her covered in mud that was treated with something that would be
absorbed into the baby's skin to encourage her organs to continue growing so
that she would not die. We watched her progress, and eventually we got to take
her out. Everybody had to be at different places though, because the world
around us was being destroyed, and I had to breastfeed the child. I was not
sure why I was lactating, but then I remembered I had been pregnant, but miscarried,
and my body was still somewhat in baby-preparation mode. (No clue how I had
gotten pregnant, though I felt regret over it, as if I had slept with someone
and had repented of it since, but was still unsure as to how exactly I had
gotten pregnant.) I fed the child, and suddenly felt this strong instinct of
motherhood that had been laying dormant in my life until this moment. Even
though I had this broken body, I felt a sense of wholeness, peace, and
accomplishment because of the fact that I was still able to carry out the role
that my body is supposed to carry out.
Then suddenly I was finding Nick. He was on his way home
from Boston for a quick break from work. He called me, saying there had been an
accident. I found him, and he was in a narrow road between two mountain cliffs.
A car had fallen off the road above on the mountain and smashed nose-first into
the front of his car. He was stuck, but uninjured. His mom had shown up as
well, and so had his godmother. It was interesting, all of us being there. Both
his mom and godmother had been wanting to meet me, and I was still physically
handicapped. Plus we were all in this car in the middle of nowhere, waiting for
help. But I was so happy to be back with Nick. He loved me still the same, even
with this broken body, and his mom and godmother were gracious and a bit
overly-concerned with both him and me, him being stuck in his car and just
little things, like how his new job is going and our relationship. With me, she was
encouraging of me and my efforts to become stronger and get better, but also
kind of babied me. Asked me if I needed anything to eat and somehow had food ready
for us and helped me get comfortable to eat. She was very loving.
I don't remember how it ended, but I was so happy to be with
Nick. We were together, holding hands, and I just felt this overwhelming calm
and happiness of being with him. It was beautiful.
No comments:
Post a Comment