Saturday, June 25, 2011

Clarke University Dating

I have not watched television much these past few weeks due to a busy work schedule, but characters from my favorite shows appeared in my dream last night.

I was back at Clarke for the fall. For some reason, I had to be "in a relationship" with a guy at Clarke. Purely for the public. Something about helping with publicity at Clarke, making it appear to be a happy place. It was all for show. This guy actually looked a lot like a face I recognize from high school, but I don't know who he was. He tried being polite and tried to enjoy being with me, even though neither of us really knew what was going on, and I had no real interest in participating in this dating deal anyway. But I had to. I felt really bad for the guy, because he knew (even though I hadn't told him) that I was waiting for this to be over so I could go see Nick again. I kept seeing Nick in the distance, patiently waiting for me. I was getting annoyed with the school and all of my peers trying to encourage this false relationship between myself and this guy whose name I barely knew. I finally just walked away from him, saying I'm really sorry, but this is really awkward and I should go. He was kind of sad, but not terribly. He got over it. I ran into a character from the show Glee. I don't know who it was, but we set up some prank because we were sick of the controlling system and ended up getting in trouble. I was then taken to Cuddy from the show House, and she was bewildered as to why I was not participating in the relationship they offered and why I did that prank. I played stupid and was kicked out. I was in snow and was really sad that summer had ended. But I was free then. I was completely shut out from everything else. Everyone at Clarke hated me. They all removed me from facebook and I didn't have their numbers in my cell phone anymore. Although none of my friends in real life were even there... But I really didn't care, because the whole thing just seemed ridiculous and I didn't want to bother with the drama. So I just walked on. I knew that I still had my family, Nick, and my good friends. All who love me, all who I thoroughly enjoy being with, and all who matter in my life. I knew my future lay here with these people.

When I walked away from the drama in this dream, I had that similar feeling I have been having in walking away from someone who stabbed me in the back recently and my attempts to move on emotionally. It has not been a very happy or easy thing to do, because I am not happy with the way things were left between this person and I. But I know I have done all I can do, and I need to not dwell on it any longer.

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