Maybe I should rename this blog "Those Horrific Dreams of Mine"...
I did an awful thing and almost threw a puppy to her death in the woods filled with coyotes. For a game. A dare. It was careless. The puppy was a basset hound puppy. She managed to put herself out of reach. I ended up saving her, but I felt so guilty and felt like I would never be forgiven.
There was also an evil house/building thing. Possessed with evil spirits and people who were followers of Satan. I had to go all the way down to the lowest floor for some reason. I had a little boy in my arms and was shielding his eyes from the awful displays. I felt very strongly to just forget my task and get out of there. I knew it was the Holy Ghost telling me this. I got out, but once I was outside, realized I had lost the boy. I then learned he had died down there. I wanted to go back and change everything, but it was too late. The evil had been too much for his body and soul, so his spirit was taken away. He was in Heaven, but I felt so awful about the whole thing and was so upset. I felt like it was my fault the boy had died. I made a serious mistake. The boy's family had no idea, and I would have to break the news to them. I couldn't bear the guilt.
Another dream that I'm having trouble remembering the details to. I was witnessing the awful things that will happen in the future. I was desperate for somebody to remind the audience that Christ will come again and bring an end to this torturous hell that was being said to await the world. It all felt so personal. It was made very clear to me that I would have to endure this hell, and so would everyone I love. I don't remember what the hell consisted of, but it was very upsetting. It was unimaginable. I couldn't believe I would be witnessing such an ordeal.
Nobody, especially the lady showing me the hell, believed there would be a relief, a Savior, a purpose, plan, a single hope to have. She and others were so engrossed in the hell that awaited us that they couldn't even comprehend or want to believe we would have a Savior. It was a very lost environment. Very focused on the wrong things. I was literally crying and pleading for these people to remember and recognize that the atonement can carry us through, that Christ WILL come again, and there is reason to have hope. I was desperate for somebody to be positive, happy. I couldn't bear such negativity, such sinking drive and misery.
It's weird having these guilt dreams, because there is nothing happening in my life at this moment that I'm feeling guilty about. Actually quite the opposite. I'm doing more service, I'm preparing myself to be sealed in the temple, I'm coming closer to my family and soon-to-be in-law family. Life is going so well.
I think Satan is trying to attack me. I'm being completely serious. It's becoming more and more obvious and apparent in these dreams.