Wednesday, July 6, 2011


Bad bad dream last night.

It started on the beach in Florida. This part wasn't so bad. It was beautiful, I was relaxed, just enjoying my the scenery and the warm sand beneath my feet. However, there was someone following me. It was a little person/character thing, and she was part of the family that I visited recently. On the visit I had [in real life], it ended in disaster with my "friend" saying very awful, ugly, hurtful things to me and then dumping me at the airport. I had to fly to Utah. I was in their house (only it wasn't their real house..), and everybody but the girl was there, because she lives on her own anyway. I was there and had to be there to confront her on the argument we had and resolve everything between us. Her dad, who has been friends with my dad for years, wanted to talk to me about it and tell me some things that I should consider when talking to her. Said "you two have been such good friends for so many years, you can't let one incident ruin that!" I had to disagree, but I didn't say anything. All I knew was that I just wanted to go home, I did not want to talk to her, because I knew she wouldn't have anything good to say to me, and I did not want to waste my time getting my feelings and self esteem hurt again. Then she came and I tried to avoid her and deliberately not look at her. She was too involved with her fiance to notice I was there, which was fine by me. Eventually she noticed, but did the same thing I was doing, except she would make faces in my direction when I wasn't looking. I think eventually I got got out of there, but overall I felt awful about the whole thing.

And I still do. I hate that what happened happened, and I wish it could be resolved, but I know there is nothing I can do, because there was nothing I did in the first place.

I hate that I keep being reminded of the whole thing randomly when I'm just trying to forget it all happened. :\

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