Tuesday, October 21, 2014


I was in Russia, visiting a college. There was a school of music at this college. It was a pretty unique campus. Some departments required uniforms. School uniforms. A red blazer and navy pants. There was an emblem on the blazers. I was just taking myself on a self-tour when I found an orchestra rehearsing in a concert hall. I poked my head in just as they were finishing music and then leaving the stage to pack up. The next thing happening in the concert hall was a sort of recital/master class. But you were expected to be very creative with your performance. The professor would kind of throw things your way and you would need to adjust to it. Improvisation. But you needed to disguise it so well that it did not appear to be improvisation. I was excited because this seemed like my gig. All of the emphasis in this school was based on creativity. I played for some professors and they were strongly encouraging me to stay and enroll. However, I was with a group and they were leaving soon. But I knew I needed to stay, so I sneaked behind. I thought the group wouldn't recognize my absence, but it turns out they knew the whole time and were listening to me through hidden recording devices. By the time I caught up with the group, they told me to stay there. They had listened and realized I was not meant for their group. I was touched that people had finally realized I was different and that I don't fit in a mold, even though I had been trying to fit in a mold for so long and had been trying so, so hard. They were impressed with my skills outside of the mold. So I stayed behind. However, I could not simply just enroll right then and there and stay for the next 4 years. I have a husband, and he's still in the states! We need to make sure we can afford to take four years off and live in a foreign country. I needed to learn more Russian so that I could communicate with the community. But the most immediate problem was that I needed to get home first. But my group had already left. Russia was very, very strict on making sure you have your representatives with you in order for you to travel and rest safely. I ended up being a part of an underground system filled with foreigners attempting to enter and exit the country for various reasons who did not have the necessary representatives. We sneaked onto trains, stayed in anonymous homes that offered couches and carpets for beds. I came across a family from Puerto Rico, and another from France. Many were headed to Japan but the train system had to stop in Russia in order for you to board a very high-tech high-speed train that zoomed across Asia and took you eastward.

I was finally caught up with my group and was on the tail end. However, since I no longer fit in their "mold", I was not exactly welcome to be on their train. But I hopped on anyway. I found many of my belongings had been tossed into an empty room. I gathered them up and carried them to my designated place on the train, looking for certain people.

The dream ended before I found them.

No comments:

Post a Comment