Guns and Pepper Spray

Location: Boulder City/Dubuque/North Las Vegas

A burglary took place at a convenient store next door to where we were. We heard gun shots. I knew they were doing a sweep of the neighborhood, and we were next. They would shoot each of us. I was hollering for my mom to run and grab us each a gun, or at least one for herself, which was handed to me. I had my pepper spray as well. They came banging on the door and we were NOT ready. We were trying to hide and stay quiet. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. The operator was not helpful. She did not believe me when I was reporting that we had heard gun shots at the convenient store, and they were going to come and shoot us next. I was rambling our location, pleading for her to do something. The group of men broke in and found us, grabbing us by our shirt collars and hair. There was a struggle. I was trying to force the shotgun out of the main guys hands. I recognized him and called him by name. He realized I knew him, and seemed taken aback. During his moment of surprise, I pulled my pepper spray out and nailed him in the face. But he didn't react a whole lot. He just couldn't see. I broke free and ran, continuing to call 9-1-1 with no help.

The rest is a blur.

Undermining the Boss

A huge lady who reminds me of the big evil lady in the story of Matilda. She's my boss. She once grabbed me by the neck and picked me up, choking me, cutting me. I felt the need to be very sneaky and undermine her. But I had to warn others about her while doing it - they had the potential to get in her way and face her wrath. My mom started to work for her and found her to be a very pleasant lady. That's because this lady was far more accepting of people closer to her age than young adults.

Something involving music. I had to conduct and work with 7th graders. But there was something I was planning and I needed to be very careful that she was not observing me, publicly or privately, while I did set forth this plan.

There was a lot of traveling involved. And swimming. I was swimming and stealing from her ginormous food supply to feed those less fortunate.
Then I was at BYUI. I managed to sneak out of my apartment without her noticing and had set out to completely run away and spread the word about her evil workings.
I was caught by an old friend and had to explain to her everything, make her promise to keep it secret, and for her own safety, not even acknowledge that she knew anything about me whatsoever.

Something involving a huge concert, heavy metal. Plans to destroy it? I don't remember what side I was on, destroying it or preventing destruction. I ultimately just didn't want to be there because my ex would be there and I wanted to leave, get as far away as possible. But I didn't. I was hiding from the evil lady. I was like a mouse. Thinking quick, small, high adrenaline, hiding easily, but a huge target if seen. Unwanted. Soon to be found, not many places to go for safety.

That's all I really remember that is worth attempting to write about. The rest can't really be put into words.

Dark, Torturous Hell

Maybe I should rename this blog "Those Horrific Dreams of Mine"...



I did an awful thing and almost threw a puppy to her death in the woods filled with coyotes. For a game. A dare. It was careless. The puppy was a basset hound puppy. She managed to put herself out of reach. I ended up saving her, but I felt so guilty and felt like I would never be forgiven.


There was also an evil house/building thing. Possessed with evil spirits and people who were followers of Satan. I had to go all the way down to the lowest floor for some reason. I had a little boy in my arms and was shielding his eyes from the awful displays. I felt very strongly to just forget my task and get out of there. I knew it was the Holy Ghost telling me this. I got out, but once I was outside, realized I had lost the boy. I then learned he had died down there. I wanted to go back and change everything, but it was too late. The evil had been too much for his body and soul, so his spirit was taken away. He was in Heaven, but I felt so awful about the whole thing and was so upset. I felt like it was my fault the boy had died. I made a serious mistake. The boy's family had no idea, and I would have to break the news to them. I couldn't bear the guilt.

Another dream that I'm having trouble remembering the details to. I was witnessing the awful things that will happen in the future. I was desperate for somebody to remind the audience that Christ will come again and bring an end to this torturous hell that was being said to await the world. It all felt so personal. It was made very clear to me that I would have to endure this hell, and so would everyone I love. I don't remember what the hell consisted of, but it was very upsetting. It was unimaginable. I couldn't believe I would be witnessing such an ordeal.
Nobody, especially the lady showing me the hell, believed there would be a relief, a Savior, a purpose, plan, a single hope to have. She and others were so engrossed in the hell that awaited us that they couldn't even comprehend or want to believe we would have a Savior. It was a very lost environment. Very focused on the wrong things. I was literally crying and pleading for these people to remember and recognize that the atonement can carry us through, that Christ WILL come again, and there is reason to have hope. I was desperate for somebody to be positive, happy. I couldn't bear such negativity, such sinking drive and misery.





It's weird having these guilt dreams, because there is nothing happening in my life at this moment that I'm feeling guilty about. Actually quite the opposite. I'm doing more service, I'm preparing myself to be sealed in the temple, I'm coming closer to my family and soon-to-be in-law family. Life is going so well.

I think Satan is trying to attack me. I'm being completely serious. It's becoming more and more obvious and apparent in these dreams.

Molten Death

This as almost two weeks ago. I didn't remember it until later that evening, and once I remembered it, I finally understood why I had felt so emotionally and mentally drained that day.

We were at a camp on a mountainside. A dormant volcano. Not so dormant anymore, apparently. It erupted along the side of the mountain, cracking the ground open. Watching people die from the lava destroyed half of the camp. People being swallowed by the molten flames, trying to escape and not making it. I was running, feeling overwhelmed with the heat surrounding me. I barely made it. Oliver was in my arms. I had to be strong and not panic for Oliver's sake, since he was witnessing the same thing I was witnessing - people dying torturous deaths. Watching their bodies cook and burn and suffer, seeing the expressions on their face, knowing there is no way they can make it out alive now, and then watching the life finally leave their eyes. Then I learned that Tyler had just been there a few moments before the eruption. Soon after, I learned he had been life flighted out of there just before the chaos ensued. Tyler was just as horrified that I had been there and was now gone.


This was definitely one of the worst dreams I've ever had. It was way too vivid, morbid, gory, and real.

Burritos

All that goes through my head  are burritos. This new job... I make so many breakfast burritos. The price, the time it takes to cook them, the time it takes to make them, the pattern, and the incessant talking and questioning of my coworker. The headache, the texture of the egg and sausage, burning my fingers on hot tortillas. Grabbing handfuls of shredded cheese. Folding them. Wrapping them in plastic. The feeling of a cold, full, tightly wrapped burrito through gloves and plastic wrap. So many burritos. Writing the day it was made on the plastic. Broken English asking for one breakfast burrito. Tired feet. Itching hat. Take inventory. We need more burritos.


I'm so glad this job is temporary. So, so temporary.

Opera and Invisible Flying

I was in a class with a professor who drove me nuts. He was my 8th grade 3D art teacher and he drove everybody nuts, but it didn't bother me then. He had us doing these music exercises and language problems. I was very short on patience with these assignments and found them to be a waste of my time. He singled me out then and started giving me slightly different assignments, which I still found to be completely stupid. I was having to finish the end of Latin and French phrases, and then memorize them. Some of them I could figure out, but I kept telling him "I'm not a vocalist! I don't sing! I'm an instrumentalist, and I play cello and piano, quit giving me these dumb assignments!" Turns out the words were lyrics to an opera that I was to be in. Everybody else in the class turned out to be vocalists, and they didn't understand why I was so disinterested in the text assignments. The evening OF the first opera performance, I learned I was to be in the opera as a cellist on stage. He was preparing me for that role somehow, but I was mostly anxious about making sure I'm on stage at time, and I had only had my music for less than a day. I could do it and perform it well, but there were so many distractions and I hadn't had a chance to run through any of the music with the choir standing behind me and the opera taking place on the rest of the stage. I also kept losing my shoe. (Losing my shoe - my LEFT shoe - has to do with the fact that last night, my left sandal broke and for a while I was walking with a broken shoe, then I took it off and walked with a bare left foot.)

Later I had a dream where I was the main character in a story. The end part had already been created, but I was living the first part of the story in a dream. This strange concoction had been developed on accident. It made me invisible and I could fly. It had to be rubbed all over my clothes and body in order to work, but I was successful. I was in a boarding school and was a loner among the other girls. I was also a lot younger. About 14 or 15 years old. The girls were very rude towards me and often made fun of me, so for most of the story I was getting my revenge, spooking them out, and doing little things that made them freak out and be overly dramatic. If I had been in their situation, I would have observed closely what was going on, instead of run away screaming and telling everybody. Since I was a loner in the school to begin with, nobody noticed that I was missing. Once they did, because of how I had set up my bed area and personal belongings, they all assumed I had been captured by this mysterious force that was haunting them at the school. They were all afraid they would be next. After a while, I got tired of using this as a prank and decided to do some good. I helped friends working with awful coworkers get stuff done by distracting the annoying coworkers. I did acts of service for people who had a lot to do and could use an extra hand but weren't going to ask for it. Then I was almost captured by some girls who were getting suspicious, one of them being the leader of the group that would pick on me. I decided to gather a few things in an area, make sure certain people were there, and I would reveal myself. My plan didn't go exactly as I had wanted, but it worked out anyway. I ended up falling from where I was floating high above them, and when I crashed to the ground, bits of the formula that was spread all over me and had dried broke off and I was completely revealed. The girls realized I had been hurt and started to take off the rest of the now dry formula that remained around me. They wanted some, but I fooled them and told them it couldn't be made again. The rest of this dream was like a movie and I don't remember what all happened. It was a good ending, though. That's all I remember.


Part of this dream forked off after the 'end' and I was still invisible. But I was with my family. I had written letters to a few people explaining to them what had happened to help them out, but I had lost them and had to re-write them, but I couldn't remember anything. I was then in a cabin where my Grandma lived. I was going to do something there while I was still invisible, but people were still spooked and I didn't get it done.


That's about all I remember.

Dr. Who??

I keep having dreams about the show Dr. Who. I haven't even watched this show. Well, I've seen bits and pieces of about two or three episodes. That hardly counts. I have friends who post loads of pictures and memes referencing to Dr. Who, though. So much so that they have slipped into my dreams and transformed dream land for me occasionally. They definitely fit in with the rest of my psychologically concerning dreams.

Unfortunately, at this moment, I cannot recall everything about the dream. I remember the land was pink and purple, almost like a Dr. Seuss world. I was outside, yet kind of high up, like on a balcony to a castle tower. Yet it was far more industrial than most castles are. Made of steel, not stone. Anyway. There was some crazy adventure going on, and I couldn't tell you for the life of me what the purpose of the adventure was. There was a man though, presumably "the doctor", and it was fascinating, the things that had to happen. I don't even remember what happened, I just remember the feelings. Something had to be done, reasons were unbeknownst to me. He was in a dramatic hurry to do it, and seemed interested in having fun at the same time. It was an entertaining dream. I know I have had at least one other like it.

OH I also remember we were camping in this pink and purple dream world. So we were in a woodsy area with open land for setting up camp.


I have been told to watch the show, but what I've seen of it really does not interest me. I can't get past the cheap graphics and poor acting.